Black people don’t normally undergo: tanning, Botox procedures permanent makeup (to name a few). One of the reasons may be because, as a whole, we are too scared of what we will look like if the procedure doesn’t turn out like we’d hoped. There are a few horror stories out there of some facial infections that people got after paying all that money to get these things done. For me, the risks exponentially outweigh the benefits.
One day, some of my colleagues were talking about Botox. Someone has a “Botox lady” and was thinking of having a Botox party. (If you’re confused, a Botox party is like a pampered chef party except the only thing for sale is injections of Botox). We were getting all excited about getting together and having this party. So they asked me, “Sam, if we were to have a Botox party would you want to come?” Of course I would want to come! “Sure. But I won’t be getting any Botox,” I state.
So here’s my reasoning. I won’t be getting any Botox because I won’t be needing any Botox. There’s this saying/colloquialism that states it simply: ‘Black don’t crack!’ That means, black people in general do not get procedure like these wrinkle removing ones and others because our skin doesn’t succumb to wrinkles under “normal wear and tear.”
My friend stated one of the differences between white women and black women perfectly after she understood what I meant. She texted me about an hour later and said, “I guess now I know why they call white people crackers!!!” This is coming from my friend who is white! I frickin’ laughed my butt off the whole way home.
Disclaimer: This is a true story and is not meant to offend any person. If you have a question about black people, post a question under the comments section.
That is the funniest post I've read yet! Botox lady? Wow is that a scary concept. I suddenly have images in my head of an upper middle class living room filled with a bunch of women gossiping and then I see the door to the parlor open and a woman walking out with a completely swollen face and another woman in scrubs walking out behind her yelling, "Next!" Ew!!!! I think any group that chooses in general not to inject poisons into their bodies or scum to other socially accepted mutilations ought to be congratulated. My cousin who follows every new trend in existence told me some women are having collagen injected into the balls of their feet because their heels often don't have enough cushion. She then tells me some women are getting their pinky toes removed so they fit into their sexy little pumps better. Though I have never known my cousin to lie, I seriously hope she made that up! And I must say, there was a time I gripped to one of my friends, about how unfair it is that my skin has so little melanin causing me to burn so easily. She just laughed at me and teased me for a good twenty minutes. Your writing is great though, I really enjoyed reading your post! It is funny!
ReplyDeleteLast weekend, while making breakfast, my boyfriend and I were just chatting as usual when the subject of aging came up. I’m not sure how…maybe I said something about not wanting to get wrinkles or something. As the conversation went on I remembered this post of yours and I started moving the conversation in that way. The concept is something that I had personal experience with, my friend Brian, who is black, has aged so incredibly well I was astounded the first time he told me his age. When I met him it was with some mutual friends of ours who all happened to be in their late 20’s and very early 30’s, Brian, I assumed, was around this age. He then told me that he was 42!! My jaw almost hit the ground. He didn’t look a day over maaaaaybe 30. Insane! Ivan, my boyfriend, started telling me about picture of his grandfather (who was black, Ivan is a quarter black) and remembering that he didn’t seem to age from 30 until about 60, after 60 he only then aged in his body posture mostly, then finally, got a few white hairs and some wrinkles but much later on. I wonder about Ivan, he is only a quarter black and is younger than me anyway, how much of a cougar am I going to look like with my wrinkles someday and his perfect wrinkle free skin, down the road? Haha! I wish I didn’t have to wrinkle, but I’m pretty sure I couldn’t be whiter so…*sigh*
ReplyDelete