Overreaction

I totally overreacted when I wrote about how I thought people were going to react to my new hair style. Everyone loves it (or they just used the ‘if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all’ rule!) Including the kids at my job. I was “amping” myself up thinking I was going to have to defend my sexuality or femininity and I didn’t have to. The only thing the kids asked was why I would cut all of my hair off. Then I had to explain to them that the braids were not my real hair, they were kind of like extensions (meaning that I attach them to my real hair, not that they are my real hair). They looked a little confused still, but a little later one of the kids asked what extensions are.

So I said,“ Remember in elementary school when you and your friends would get that string tied around your hair? It had all kinds of colors and you and your friends, or people you saw had it so that their hair was the same? It’s like that. The ‘extra’ hair is separate and I just attach it.”
For some reason, that explanation made much more sense. So if you’re ever in a position where you need to explain what braided extensions are, you can just use that example. I’m letting you have it and take all the credit for it… no charge.

I said all this to say that I got all worked about my hair for nothing. It’s been a pretty decent week.

Phenomenal Woman

So, I finally did it. I took out my braids and cut my hair. It feels so nice. And, surprisingly enough, Wes (my husband) likes it too. I can stand on my own two feet and am pretty confident that his dislike of my hair wouldn’t’ve changed how I see myself.

Though it may not be a big deal at all I will be honest and say that I am a little nervous about going to work and school tomorrow. I will notice the way that people look at me. I will more than likely assume they are sizing me up and maybe even judging me for the way that my hair looks. When I had my hair super short before, in high school, my older sister told me that I need to make sure to dress feminine and never, ever, EVER wear rainbows. Alhtough I love rainbows and the promise of God that they represent (that He would never flood the earth again) I stayed away. That was then and this is now.

I am preparing myself. And when I begin to feel the least bit self conscious, I will remember that I am wonderfully and fearfully made. I will also remember that poem by Maya Angelou:

Phenomenal Woman
Pretty women wonder where my secret lies
I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I’m telling lies.
I say,
It’s in the reach of my arms,
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I’m a woman.
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It’s the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I’m a woman.
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can’t touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them,
They say they still can’t see.
I say,
It’s in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I’m a woman.
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman.
That’s me.

Now you understand
Just why my head’s not bowed.
I don’t shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing,
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It’s the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
The palm of my hand,
The need for my care.
‘Cause I’m a woman.
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman.
That’s me.